You may want to read this in its entirety. For I am about to divulge information that is crucial to your very survival. It is something that you will find shocking, amusing and somewhat arousing. If you feel a tingling in your pants, then my job is complete. If you don't, I am a miserable failure in life and deserve to be executed in the most in-human way possible. Here is my tale from last night and a part of my day today. Sit back, relax, take a pill and enjoy this fucking post.
Yesterday was a boring day up until night came. I had done nothing throughout the day, except playing my PSP. That only provided mild entertainment and I favored the company of a friend or possible lover. Considering I have no lover, a friend would have sufficed. My mother called me earlier.
"If I don't work late, do you want to go grocery shopping?" she asked.
"Yah of course!" I replied with an enthusiasm in my voice that seemed somewhat pathetic. I am one to get excited over going grocery shopping. I really had no idea what I was going to do until she came home. Hence, me playing PSP for the most of my day. She came home around 7 or 8 o'clock. I'm not sure, but I feel that's around the time. She went upstairs and unwound for a few minutes while I prepared myself for the trip to Win-Co. I slid my pair of gray jeans on, a gray shirt with a catchy slogan, "Them govment boys sure ain't right" or something to that extent. I had to figure out what kind of sweater I would like to wear so I put on my hunters sweater. You know, the one with the bullet on it and the antlers on them. I couldn't figure out what kind of hat to wear because I didn't want to do my hair. I placed my fedora firmly over my freshly cut scalp and waited for mother to come downstairs.
"You ready?" she asked.
"Yep..." I replied.
We were well on our way to grocery shopping. I wanted to go to the mall first, so we headed on over there. While finding a place to park, a lady in an SUV decided to go down our aisle which was the wrong way to go.
"You fucking bitch, I'm not letting you pass. You're going the wrong way!" my mother rose her voice as the lady passed by us, regardless of how much she irritated us, " You fucking bitch!" she shouted with the window open.
"Yes, she's a fucking douche is what she is!" I said in a slight rage.
"Yes, she is a douche..." my mother replies to my comment. I laugh in response because I have never heard her say douche.
The mall was boring. Not much was done except a lot of walking around and thrashing clothing I didn't particularly like. It's all a bit expensive for my tastes. Granted, if I had money I would be purchasing just about everything I could ever want in those establishments, but I don't have the proper amount to do so. We walked back through the Macy's for men to get to our car in the parking lot. I notice sandals that are all furry. They reminded me of UGG boots. I looked at the price and my heart sank. I believe they were $35, I was disappointed by the price because I wanted a pair. We walked past the cologne area and I decided to try some of Paris Hilton's "Heir" cologne. It smelted good, only I sprayed my wrist with too much.
Well, we left and were well on our way to Win-Co. We got there and immediately we were laughing about something - I forget what. I forget why it was brought up, but my sex life was brought up. Oh, now I remember. We were getting bananas.
"I like my bananas small"
"Is that why you're with an Asian man?" I laughed.
"Now where did you hear something like that?" she replied.
"Personal experience..."
"There are some things a mother just doesn't need to know."
"A phillipino gentlemen. Remember that one time I went to Berkley?"
"..."
Well that conversation ended abruptly, I just wanted to see how far I could get before she got irritated. This entire grocery trip was an exciting experience. It always is when mother and I go grocery shopping. We laugh, we joked, and we got a great amount of food!
Fast forward a few hours later. It's around one o'clock AM. I remember it being one AM about an hour before, then I looked at the time and thought I was going crazy. The clock on my computer went back all on it's own. Yes, my baby is growing up and doing things on it's own! Now back to what I wanted to mention.
I had a guy message me on MySpace. I looked at his profile and it said straight. I was wondering why a straight boy would want to talk to me of all people and want to ask me questions. I figured it was him wanting to ask me questions about being gay and he's confused or something. Turns out I was right! Only, there was much more to that.
Him (12:57:59 AM): hello? Him (12:58:45 AM): heres my question Him (12:59:07 AM): i really like anal pleasure Him (12:59:21 AM): like dildos Him (1:00:06 AM): and i like thinking of a dick going in my ass Him (1:00:20 AM): i also want a dick in my throat Him (1:00:29 AM): but i dont think i like guys Me (1:00:34 AM): So, do you feel more curious about this? Him (1:00:53 AM): i think so Me (1:00:48 AM): Or do you know for a fact you have some attraction to men, which is provoking these feelings? Him (1:01:26 AM): i never been with a man except expirementing with another buy when i was 9 Him (1:02:28 AM): i feel more like female in the sense i like to be penetrated Him (1:02:41 AM): i really like girls
A few minutes later...
Him(1:10:04 AM): this may sound like a weird question but... Him(1:10:08 AM): can you fuck me? Him (1:10:24 AM): im a virgin? Him (1:10:50 AM): i need you Him (1:11:02 AM): im 19, i have id Me(1:10:53 AM): How do I know that if I end up going to fuck you, that you won't brutally murder me? Me (1:11:17 AM): and I don't know you very well, so fucking you would be a little out there Him (1:11:46 AM): i promise, you can pick the place and everything, bring a weapon, bring a friend
A couple lines later...
Him (1:14:02 AM): i really want to do this Him (1:14:48 AM): ill be your little sex slave, anything you want
I went and looked over at his MySpace. Turns out he knows a friend of mine. In fact, he likes her. I was a little confused by this situation. He then wanted to show me his stuff. Considering I'm only human, a male, and have a curious mind. I said, "sure."
To be quite honest, I get no real satisfaction from cam to cam sexual stuff. I was more turned off and somewhat grossed out. There was a funky smell coming from outside, that mixed in with this situation was not a good moment. I can at least say that I've seen someone use a vibrator on themselves over cam and that's something I thought I would never see. Now, I'm just healing from this experience. Ha, I use the word healing like I was traumatized. This was just a very interesting experience because I have never been propositioned for sex. I did make a Alan VLog for this, but it won't finish uploading so I figured, "FUCK IT!" and decided not to post it and just write this.
So let me ask you, did you enjoy my little tale? Did you feel that tingly feeling deep down in your pants or just deep down inside of you? If not, please tell me so that I may go and feel miserable and kick myself for not being able to accomplish something that could quite possibly be so easy.
With Love,
Alan PS: I counted and I have one pair of boots, five pairs of sandals, and nineteen pairs of shoes in my room at this very moment. I wear, maybe, four of those pairs. I really should start wearing the others more, I think their feeling very sad because I don't wear them often.
Tags: bitch, grocery, laughing, mall, paris hilton, proposition, random, sex, shoes, shopping, slave
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Current Mood: 
chipper
Current Music: Lost Prophets - Goodbye Tonight
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