This is where I write.

Here I am once again. I found myself pushed into a corner with the pressure slowly pushing my face into the wall. I can feel my bones cracking, I can see the blood covering my eyes and taste it seeping into my mouth.

I'm pushed into the corner with nowhere to go. You are holding me down and I can no longer resist you. You are an addiction, a mortal sin. I can sense how much you regret this, but know you cannot stop. This hold that is placed on you is far stronger a force than what we can defend against.

I close my eyes as the pressure stops. I quickly turn around and rest my head into that corner as sweat rolls down my cheeks. This was an over load. I forgot to take my pills, I forgot to shoot up, my mind raced from one end of the world to the other. I should settle down. I can't possibly think this is a healthy way to live my life.

I can feel the rubber band wrap around my bicep. I can feel the blood flow stop and the needle puncture my skin. As the liquid seeps into my system, the burn overcomes my senses and I unwrap the band. I feel the blood flow.

Bum, bum, bum bum bum bum BUM BUM BUM BUM bum bum BUM BUM

My heart...
What's that?
I'm hurting you?
I'm sorry, but I just cannot help it.

Bum BUM BUM!

I hit my chest and my heart stops.
I rest my head against the corner once again. I feel my body start to slow. The world is dark, growing dark, so dark.

I open my eyes and find myself lying next to you once again. Doing what I shouldn't be doing. I should have left you long ago, but the pressure is so strong. It has become an addiction. I can no longer resist you. You are my poison, my drug of choice, my one and only.

Goodnight.

Tags: addiction, drug, emotion, pressure

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